Friday, November 04, 2005

Power surge

Out to lunch with the girls, and we nearly brought Ibn Battuta to a standstill. While comparing purchases, and nosing around in each other's handbags, I got Amber's make-up bag out to raid it. Having discarded her eyeshadows as being too minimalist, I got out a lipstick, and was just about to comment that the red didn't look like it would go with her colouring ...

.... when Amber almost threw herself across the table to hide the offending item that I was, by now, brandishing around the restaurant. It was only when Amber stopped blushing, and Sonya stopped crying with laughter (and the waiter hid with embarrassment) that I realised all was not what it seemed. This 'lipstick' was in fact battery-operated.

By the time pudding came round, I couldn't bear it any more. "Just what kind of shopping trip did you think we were going on that you felt the need to bring a little extra sumthin sumthin?" Amber answered, matter-of-factly: "Well, I carry it around with me most of the time. Sometimes you get bored in the office, or on a long flight, and you need a little extra entertainment."

Quite.

30 Comments:

Blogger samuraisam said...

bwahahaha

8:54 PM  
Anonymous Gavin said...

Hey, I cant seem to find any emails for people...do bloggers in Dubai meet up at all? If you could drop me a mail it would be great...

3:12 AM  
Blogger Jassim said...

Huh? I am innocent, i dont understand. Battery operated lipstick?

9:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Evidently someone here has demonstrated what living in a proxified, bubbled 'utopia' has done to their basic general knowledge.
Keep that innocence guarded, in the real world you won't survive anyway.

12:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Local Hero....you are too cute! I love that you don't know what battery-operated "lipstick" is. Will you marry me?

9:35 AM  
Blogger A Yahya said...

I think he was being sarcastic, hence his description of himself as being 'innocent'.

I know him personally and I dont think you will need anything battery operated when you are with him. ;)

10:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cheeky, cheeky Nomaadic.

3:08 PM  
Blogger samuraisam said...

i don't know what's more funny, the story, or local hero's reaction.

hahaha, "battery operated lipstick", that is a memorable quote. one for the books.

10:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gavin, Are you proposing that Dubai's bloggers meet up? Think that's a good idea? Me thinks our anonymity is one of the things that keeps us honest.

9:53 AM  
Blogger The Devil's Advocate said...

My friend tried to import a battery operated device of similar use but of differing dimensions.

The airport customs people were not impressed, neithe by it's size nor operation.

My friend wasn't impressed by how intrusive the questions were.

I wasn't impressed that he let them take it off him.

C'est La vie eh?

2:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"take it off HIM"?...'Him'??? Please see where I am going with this so i dont need to elaborate :-D

12:03 AM  
Blogger The Devil's Advocate said...

He's a kinky fella...Likes to have an extra gun for when he's reloading. I assume (and hope)

12:27 AM  
Blogger A Yahya said...

"He's a kinky fella...Likes to have an extra gun for when he's reloading. I assume (and hope)"

Quiet.

11:32 AM  
Blogger CG said...

Local Hero, it is a lipstick .
LIP
STICK

Got it?


CG

9:36 PM  
Blogger samuraisam said...

cg.
BWAHAHAHAHA.

this posting keeps on getting funnier

10:31 PM  
Blogger snow white said...

A friend of mine recalls the days when she could buy battery-operated equipment in Karama .... she bought 25 of them for her friends for Christmas.

10:46 PM  
Blogger secretdubai said...

I cannot understand why battery operated aids are banned here. Is there something quranic against them?

Because surely used between a married couple, they are acceptable? And used solo, a means against adultery?

Very odd. You can buy slut-whore fetish underwear in every shopping mall, but not a basic marital aid. Given the high incidence of diabetes here, and the impotence that that doubtless causes many males (irreversible) it seems only humane to allow marital aids.

11:00 PM  
Blogger Intellectual Primate said...

can anyone really mention owning battery operated equipment with a straight face over dinner? thinking about it tarantino comes to mind in one those resservoir dogs/pulp fiction irrelevent discussions.

1:34 AM  
Blogger CG said...

Lals in Satwa. Near the stationary.
Nice rocket shaped thingys...for all you straight married couples who need an aid...yah right.

Not as nice as going into Summers in the Trafford Centre but I would imagine they get to the root of the problem.

You pays your money and you takes your choice.


CG

9:35 AM  
Blogger Geehumshriber said...

i was there actually, and i just thought why would anyone wave a battery operated lipstick like that in the air :p lol

8:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Snow white you will remember my "escapade" trying to bring in a Black Prince for a former DXB media whore type .... Yoda

7:23 PM  
Blogger snow white said...

Anonymous / Yoda - I don't remember that particular yarn, but knowing you, it will be full of high-jinks ... care to elaborate?

8:24 PM  
Blogger samuraisam said...

I don't think "marriage aids" are actually illegal to sell; it's just where on earth would you stock them? at spinneys? You'd have to have XXX rated shops; though having them at spinneys would be funny.

"oh look shampoo, definately need to replentish supplies; some steak, eggs, cheese, milk, butter, hmm, do we need a marital aid, OH LOOK they have a special deal if you buy 4!"
"HONEY HONEY, do we need a marital aid"

7:05 PM  
Blogger CG said...

hmmm I think a pharmacy would be a wise location...along with lurex, spermicides etc etc...no mistaking which part of the body they are intended for....just incase some poor old man sits down in Safa Park and starts massaging his neck with a rabbit earred enhancer......

.....

8:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like it was a good job she left the 24 incher double ended plaything at home as that would have been really embarassing pulling that beast out ;)

9:43 PM  
Blogger CG said...

24 incher? are you talking about a garden hose or what?

8:53 PM  
Blogger Jassim said...

'double ended' ? Yuk! This gets worse. Why and how would a married couple use something 'double ended'. Unless it was interlectual primates friend's and really i dont want my imagination to have to dwell on that scene anymore.

10:29 AM  
Blogger CG said...

double ended? hmmm



still pondering



yewwww

8:57 PM  
Blogger s said...

i'm not surprised that they don't sell it in dubai given that not one of you could even SAY the damn word (dildo) and used euphemisms instead!!

3:22 AM  
Blogger CG said...

"The Maids Complaint for want of a Dil Doul"

9:31 PM  

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