Going underground

Trekking out to the sticks - I was "keeping it real" and was determined to see how the village-dwellers lived - I battled my way on the underground, where the entire 7 million population seemed to be on the tube at the same time (yes, that's 14 million elbows). Arriving at the end of my journey, the escalators up were all closed down for "energy saving". Whose energy were they saving? Not mine, as I puffed my way up umpteen flights of steps.