You're nicked ...

The headlines were dominated back in Britain by news that Eastenders' Mitchell bruiser bruvvers, Grant and Phil, had been laid into by their other halves. Police were called when Ross Kemp (Grant) suffered 'a cut lip' during a fracas with wife Rebekah. The fiery female is none other than editor of The Sun, who recently ran a campaign against domestic violence. Meanwhile, Steve McFadden (Phil) got in a scrap with his ex-missus as well.

Well-connected media pals in London have been speculating about it - "it sounded like a bit like a wind-up at first," said Kenny, "but there have been some excellent stories doing the rounds. You just couldn't make this sort of stuff up." Popbitch, that source of all great industry gossip, hints: Why did Rebekah Wade attack Ross Kemp? Presumably for a bedroom indiscretion, but did she really stab him? And what was the gender of the third party?

Speaking to my sister Janie, we did have a laugh about how it hardly sat well with images of the boys as Cockney hardmen in EE. "I have to say they've looked a bit wussy since their return," said Janie. "They don't look like they are up to the hands-on kind of 'reasoning' they used to do - so make do with looking well 'ard."

Mind you, Janie missed the news breaking in UK. "I was too busy listening to the new Michael Ball and Westlife albums."

Janie's still trying to get over the news that her favourite upper-class balladeer had a one-night stand with a struggling actor she knows. "All this time, I thought he was tortured by breaking up with his girlfriend. He's not a sensitive soul in touch with his emotions - he's just bi."