A nod, a wink and a grope

There must be something in the air. It seems all round Dubai, mojos are kicking back into action - but not necessarily in the right direction. Take Clover, for example. She was at a Spanish bar in town, having a spot of tapas & sangria and minding her own business, when the waitress brought over a napkin from "a gentleman at the bar". Clover gets starstruck, thinks she's in some rom-com movie, until she realises it's a greasy shiny suit-wearer, who hands over his name and number, but didn't even have the sense to send a bottle of champagne over with it. Doh. Needless to say, Clover didn't call him, nor did she respond to a second napkin declaring "you must be too shy to come and say hello".

Meanwhile, cut to me (same night) at the slightless less glam surroundings of the German pub at Jumeirah Beach Hotel, where a dress-wearer took advantage of Tall Boy's 90-second bathroom break to grope, suggest, and generally put me at unease. After a slurred mumble of "can i ssshhheeee you again" and a grope of the bottom, he snaffled one of my business cards left behind by a media mate, and started lungeing. Luckily, after a frantic "rescue me" text, Tall Boy emerged from the men's room to cut the man off in his prime.